I admit I have been feeling a lull in my creativity lately. Funny how sometimes I produce some of my best work, and then am shaken right after by a depressive episode. The energy slips from me and creating slowly becomes monotonous. A job rather than a therapeutic release in the way I want it to be. I can’t not live in my head a good 90 percent of my day. I get stuck in the world I fantasize. In my ideas. You should see the damn list.

“I can do anything here” my brain says. While I lay awake in bed pondering too many thoughts to keep track of until my head becomes cloudy enough to match the energy of my body and I can finally fall asleep. “There’s always a new day” I tell myself. Hopefully with more inspiration and motivation than the last.

I place bars of pressure on my shoulders to create. The way I once tamped espresso in my barista days. As much as I love my art, I need breaks from it too. Just like I have to camp under stars to run from light pollution. Just like I have to put headphones on to break from regular noise.

These are the moments I try to remind myself that it is okay to take time away and just be…here. To live without necessarily having to make something magical. Life itself can be magical if you let it. I’m trying to remind myself that no matter how long these breaks are, I’m still an artist. I will always be an artist.

I give my cats a squeeze, make some salty popcorn and throw on a movie to cry to. The sappy, simple luxury of tears feels oddly comforting.

-She cries art.

shecriesartblog

Taking a break from art doesn’t make you any less of an artist